Kansas City Chiefs

Lance Long can’t afford bad days or sick days. Can’t deliver a lazy practice or run a sloppy route. Long has to be almost perfect. Otherwise, someone might notice that he doesn’t seem to belong as a Chiefs wide receiver.

Chiefs coach Todd Haley has mastered the art of praising the opponent, but it’s not hype when he says this week’s foes, the Pittsburgh Steelers, are the model for what type of program he’s trying to build in Kansas City.

Jamaal Charles gives the Chiefs a big spark in his first start at running back.

Highlights Q: Was this practice today equal to last week's. You said last Friday's practice was your best Friday to date. TODD HALEY: "It was okay. Not as good as last week, that's for sure. But again, we've got some

Join Chiefs365 | Insider Forum with Josh Looney - Talk it up! | Looney Bin Archive VOTE: Pro Bowl Public Transportation Returns to Arrowhead on Gamedays REGISTER NOW: Dance Studio Performance Day POLAMALU RULED OUT

The Pittsburgh Steelers saw their high-flying offense hit a big stumbling block in their latest game, but have reason to believe it will bounce back at Arrowhead Stadium.

Kansas City Chiefs wide receiver Dwayne Bowe has been suspended for four games for violating the NFL's policy against performance-enhancing substances.

Jamaal Charles scored on a 44-yard run for Kansas City's first rushing touchdown of the season and the Chiefs used a late interception to win their seventh straight road game against the Oakland Raiders, 16-10 on Sunday.

First and foremost: Tony Gonzalez was one of the best Chiefs in franchise history and will go down as the absolute greatest tight end in NFL history ever. Everything he has done for the Chiefs over the years is greatly appreciated. He brought us all so much joy and pride over the years. [...]

Here you go Randy. According to Vegas, the Steelers are favored to win by 10 (only ten?). The over/under is 40. After 10,000 simulations the average score is Steelers 27.2 vs. Chiefs 13.7, with the Steelers winning 84 percent of those simulations. Per Accuscore: “The Steelers offense only had 256 yards in their loss to the [...]

The Chiefs hire hot new offensive mind to his first head coaching job. This past offseason? No, the year was 1983 and the coach in question was John Mackovic. He lasted three years as head coach with one playoff appearance. Why did he fail? Well, the reasons were numerous, but a primary reason was hubris. [...]

Ah... it's good to be back.I hope all of you are having a wonderful New Year thus far, watching as much college football as humanly possible, and taking care of all those resolutions.Which brings me to my two of my...

For some reason, the Chiefs seem to find themselves playing the dual-role of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde each week, in that they play outstanding football in the first half of their games, only to completely flip-flop their persona once...

Just when you thought the Chiefs might have found a way out of their propensity for second half meltdowns, the Chiefs put their worst foot forward yet again, allowing a Miami Dolphins team that is on the cusp of clinching...

Remember 2005?  Doesn't seem all that long ago - but lots of things have changed since then.  We elected a new President.  Personally, I've had children (thus reinforcing every parent's dream that their kids will receive offspring exactly like them - exacting some measure of revenge for tormenting my poor parents.)  The economy crapped all over itself - and the war continues (the more things change...)

In a much "smaller picture" view, remember the 2005 Chiefs season?  10-6 record, but no playoffs (thanks to a 13-3 Denver team).  Dick Vermeil retired (one season too late).  Shawne Merriman commited manslaughter on Priest Holmes, effectively ending his career - which paved the way for Larry Johnson to take over as starting tailback for the Chiefs.

After that season, the Green Bay Packers offered the Chiefs a 1st-round and a 2nd-round pick for LJ in the 2006 draft.  Read that sentence again.  Right now, I think the Chiefs would take Al Davis' corpse for LJ.

(Wait...what?  Really?  Still alive, huh?  Man - is my face red.)

The Chiefs (specifically Carl Peterson) declined the offer - and pretty much sent the Chiefs franchise into a death spiral that has no end in sight.  If the Chiefs were the Titanic, then this non-deal was the iceberg.

With that 1st-round pick (#5 overall), the Packers took some guy named A.J. Hawk, the all-world middle linebacker coming out of college who immediately became the Packers' starting MLB, and team leader.    You might remember this draft as the "Mario Williams or Reggie Bush?" draft.  You may not remember the rest of the people that came after Hawk - because frankly, they're terrible.

Michael Huff (jury's still out), Donte Whitner, Ernie Sims, Matt Leinhart (!), Kamerion Wimbley, Broderick Bunkley, Tye Hill, Jason Allen, Bobby Carpenter, Laurence Maroney, Davin Joseph, and some guy named John McCargo, who I think just delivered my Federal Express package here at work.

Now, there were some hits in the first round - as is usually the case.  Jay Cutler, Haloti Ngata, Chad Greenway, Antonio Cromartie and Manny Lawson have all played at or above expectations.  The Chiefs drafted Tamba Hali, and immediately inserted him on the other side of the defensive line from someone...who we will get to momentarily.

With the 2nd-round pick (#36 overall), the Packers traded the pick to the Patriots - who turned that pick into WR Chad Jackson...illustrating that Scott Pioli managed to mangle late picks back then, too.

Later in the second round, there were a few guys that might have helped the Chiefs - Demeco Ryans, Marcus McNeil, Devin Hester, Greg Jennings, and some guy named Maurice Jones-Drew.  The Chiefs took Tom Brady assassin Bernard Pollard, who joined the hit parade of "2nd-round picks no longer with the team after 5 years".

I don't want to play the "here's what could've been" game with picks and everything - I'll leave that to Joe Posnanski and his Albert Pujols infatuation.  But stay with me while I prove my point - I'll get there eventually.

If we had traded LJ, we could've had AJ Hawk, Tamba Hali, MJD and Bernard Pollard.  Not bad at all.  Let's move onto 2007.

LJ had been run into the ground in 2006, acting as the workhorse for a team that fell ass-backwards into the playoffs.  He held out in 2007, and eventually became the highest-paid player in team history.  2007 was an unmitigated disaster - Trent Green got hurt, Willie Roaf retired, John Welbourn was on the team...the list goes on and on.  But the single biggest news item of 2007 was that LJ got paid, because...

2008 - I still hold my head down in shame because of this year.  If the Chiefs are dead, then 2008 was the murder weapon.  Coming off  a franchise-worst 4-12 record, things couldn't get much worse - then they did.

LJ wanted out (the fifth or sixth time of 1,993,085 instances this has occurred), but the Chiefs had some hope.  Jared Allen was the NFL leading sack artist in 2007, and was mired in a brawl with Peterson and company.  Long story short - Allen wanted more money, but had two strikes against him in the NFL substance-abuse/DUI program (a lot of people forget this), so Peterson was reluctant to hand him a big contract. 

Actually, he couldn't hand him a big contract - because all of the team's money was tied up in Trent Green (eventually traded) and LJ.  However, Allen was willing to take less money to stay in KC, which he loved (by all accounts).  So, Allen was traded to the Vikings for a 1st-round pick, and two 3rd-round picks. Those picks eventually became Branden Albert, Brad Cottam and DeJuan Morgan.

(I will allow Chiefs fans to unbend some paper clips and jab them into their eyes before they read this next paragraph.  Are you sure you want to continue?  Ok - you've been warned.)

The Chiefs hit a home run with their first three picks in Glenn Dorsey, Albert and Brandon Flowers.    Well, a home run with Flowers.  Albert is like getting on base with a seeing-eye single, and Dorsey has been like taking a fastball to the twig-and-berries region - but he's been improving.

However, with their 3rd-round picks, the Chiefs simply mutilated any chance they had at putting a competitve team on the field.  Here's who we took:

#73 - Brad Cottam - could've had Jermichael Finley or Mario Manningham

#76 - Jammal Charles - could've had Steve Slaton

#82 - DeJuan Morgan - (keep in mind, we just spent a 2nd-round pick on a safety two years prior) - could've had Tashard Choice...and honestly, I wouldn't be mad at them if they had taken Charles here.

So here's the team we had:

RE - Alphonso Boone

DT - Ron Edwards, Glenn Dorsey

LE - Tamba Hali

OLB - Demorrio Williams, Rocky Boiman

MLB - Derrick Johnson

CB - Brandon Carr, Brandon Flowers

S - Bernard Pollard, Jarrad Page

Here's what could've been -

RE - Tamba Hali (his natural position)

DT - Glenn Dorsey, Alphonso Boone

LE - Jared Allen

LOLB - Derrick Johnson

MLB - A.J. Hawk

ROLB - Demorrio Williams

CB - Flowers and Carr

S - Pollard and Page

Sigh - that "could've been" defense looks very promising - much better than watching the Giants sleepwalk through four quarters, not even really trying to win.

The offense could've featured MJD, Greg Jennings, Steve Slaton, Marcus Mcneill and Mario Manningham - coupled with Dwayne Bowe, and I would say that's a decent receiving corps (and I'll assume that the greatest TE of all-time is still on the team as well.)

With that offense, those weapons and that running game - well, I'll make the lame, obligatory, lamer than "what's the number to 911?" joke of "God, I could've played quarterback with that team.  However, in this case, it's probably true.  When Brett Favre unretired in 2013 in his quest to play for all 32 teams, he could've stepped in on that team and guided us to a 14-2 record.

Thank you, Carl Peterson - thank you for your 20-year "5-year plan".  Thank you for bungling every single draft pick since 1991.  Thank your for chasing away any marguee free agents that ever would've wanted to sign here.  But mostly - thank you for absolutely murdering this team with the biggest non-trade in franchise history.  You've truly accomplished something, sir - you've left a legacy of crapping on your fans that will carry over into the next decade - and not many fired GM's can say that.  Congratulations.  I hate you.

Follow me on Twitter for more Chiefs news and updates.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm almost over last week's game against the Philadelphia Eagles.  I have almost moved on after watching my team surrender midway through the second quarter, and just try to run out the clock in an attempt to catch an early flight home.  Almost.  I put my Madden 2010 season on "Rookie", set the time to 15 minute quarters, and destroyed Philly 163-0 last night - so that made me feel like a big man.

Now, (probably) the best team in football is coming to Arrowhead on Sunday to kick the crap out of the Kansas City good guys - and most of us are expecting a non-win.  In fact, according to Jayice Pearson (on my Mount Suckmore of Chiefs players), he hopes that the team can just survive and not get beat up too much Sunday.

What the hell, Jay-Ice?  Is this third grade?  You hope that the team doesn't get beat up?  Like literallyl beat up?  God - stick with your cushy studio job at ESPN 395,774 where they don't trust you to do live game coverage because you have more "uh's" in your speech pattern than someone at a DUI checkpoint returning home from happy hour.  Although keep mentioning how bad the defensive backfield play is during the game highlights you narrate - I get a kick out of the pot calling the kettle black.

So - we're not expecting a Super Bowl title this year.  We're not expecting a playoff berth.  We're not even expecting having to need more than one hand to count our victories this year.  So...what do we expect?  What do we have the right to expect?  Let's break 'em down.

Offense

The main expectation is not fitting quarterback Matt Cassel with a toe tag in 2009.  I would like to see some development from Dwayne Bowe and step up to become a REAL game-changing wide receiver - not an injury-prone prima donna who talks a good game, but can't support his yapping with performance.  This may sound strange, but I would like Bowe to take a Rod Tidwell-esque hit like Cuba Gooding's character takes at the end of "Jerry McGuire" - just an absolute 3-way decleater hit that leaves Bowe's neck about 1.5 inches shorter than it was before.

If Bowe can take something like that, hold onto the ball (and maybe throw in a little nip-up/Spinnerooni move with it), then that would show me he's goes some cajones, some sack, and a little heart - someone that a receiving corps can be built around.

I think it's fair to expect Larry Johnson to end up in jail sometime around week 9 for punching an undercover cop in the face.  I can't say why for sure, but I feel like the term "chickenhead" will be involved.  Just a thought.

Should we expect our tight ends to produce more than 1.5 catches a game?  Maybe we got spoiled from having the greatest tight end in NFL history in Kansas City for the past decade - but this is ridiculous.  Cottam's awful, and Sean Ryan's just as bad - only with worse hands.  Thankfully (?!?!?), the team brought in chronic underachiever Leonard Pope, formerly of the Arizona Cardinals.  I love the thought process of the Chiefs -

"We need more production from our receivers.  We can't give our quarterback enough time for our wideouts to run the deep routes, so we need a big bodied TE who can take up space and catch the 7-yard patterns. And think what a weapon he'd be in the red zone!"

Uh, fellas? You know why you have this problem?  BECAUSE YOU TRADED THE BEST TIGHT END IN THE HISTORY OF THE NFL FOR A F-ING 2ND-ROUND PICK!

God - reactive thinking drives me nuts.  Trade Tony Gonzalez, then complain about the lack of production from the tight end position.  That's like hanging out with Al Davis, then complaining about the embalming fluid odors - you get what you ask for.

2009 is a lost year for the offense - mostly, nobody get seriously hurt, maybe have one of the 692 new wide receivers we brought in this year develop into a moderate threat, and cross our fingers that Larry Johnson doesn't go "Last Boy Scout" on everyone.  I think those are fair expectations.  That leads us to the...

DEFENSE

Here is where Chiefs fans should be taking note.  Todd Haley and Scott Pioli have focused almost exclusively on the defensive side of the ball this year in an effort to upgrade the Chiefs from "laughingstock" to "At least we're not Tampa Bay".  The additions of Tyson Jackson, Mike Vrabel,  and the 3-4 defense have to start making progress, or this year is a waste. 

Glenn Dorsey, Brandon Carr and Derrick Johnson have to start becoming "above average" or "underrated" (which is code for "good players who don't play in New York or Boston").  They cannot continue to be space fillers earning a game check.

A defense in football is like a minor league baseball system.  You cannot restock and revamp in one year.  It take three, four, maybe even five years before all the pieces are in place.  You add one piece (a speed rusher in Jackson) in 2009, another piece or two in 2010 (another speed rusher, a sideline-to-sideline linebacker), then the final piece or two in 2011 (a shutdown corner, a game-changing safety, or a defensive tackle) - and viola - you have a competent, impact defense.

If Derrick Johnson, Glenn Dorsey, Tyson Jackson and the Brandons (Carr and Flowers) become the stars that we think they should become, then half the pieces are in place.  You can add New England-esque complementary players, and have them fill in the gaps. 

I think it's fair to expect marked improvement from Dorsey, Jackson and Johnson this year - especially Dorsey and DJ.  Time to step up boys, and show us all that talent that everyone thinks is in there somewhere.

Special Teams

No worries here, really.  Dusty Colquitt is the best player on the team and Ryan Succop seems fairly competent (though we haven't seen him in a game-winning kick scenario yet).  I wouldn't mind a kick returner who doesn't crap his pants on a return, but I guess you can't have the world.

So - what's fair to expect?  Improvement? Absolutely.  Smart play?  I would think so, but that hasn't happened yet.  Defensive advancement?  A must-happen, or this season is lost - and perhaps more.

There isn't a miracle cure, or a one-year fix in the works - but that doesn't mean the Chiefs should temper their expectations.  It doesn't mean the fans should, either.

 

The Kansas City Chiefs announced they have traded backup quarterback and last year's starter, Tyler Thigpen, to their favorite trading partners, the Miami Dolphins for a conditional draft pick.  Per usual, no terms were released by the Chiefs.

The Fish needed another quarterback after Chad Pennington went down for the 4,193,957 time with a season-ending shoulder injury.  The Chiefs were able to secure something for a former 7th-round waiver wire pickup that was not going to be in their future plans any time soon.  So, by all accounts (if the conditional pick is a 4th or 5th rounder, which I assume it is), it's win-win for both teams.

However, I think the Chiefs came out ahead (shocking, I know, to hear that I think my favorite team did something well).  Thigpen was a terrible conventional quarterback.  He's like a white JaMarcus Russell.  He would miss receivers that Ray Charles could see were open.  He panicked and ran at the drop of helmet - or Damion McIntosh ole block.  I deemed him the "worst player in Chiefs franchise history" a few times last year - the McIntoshi himself took over those honors.  Thigpen is probably in the top-20, but he wasn't the worst.

However, what is most amazing is how Thigpen won over the fans (some of them, anyway).  When I went to the Tampa Bay game last year, I nearly got destroyed by some fellow Chiefs' fans who were outraged to the point of throwing stuff at me when I booed Thigpen.  I couldn't figure it out - this guy was terrible, but he was beloved by the fans.  The man I lovingly referred to as "Popkey" from the movie "Necessary Roughness" was the Big Man on Campus at Arrowhead Statdium.

I guess it was because he was our loser - the 3rd-string guy who unexpectedly got thrust into the spotlight and somewhat succeeded.  The team was in some games thanks to him, and probably should have won more than two.  So, I suppose he did his job (sort of).

However, when a team has to totally reinvent their offense to suit your "ahem" strengths, you're not going to stick around for long.  When Chan Gailey introduced the Pistol formation, most of us knew it was a gimmick - a gimmick designed to play to Thigpen's strengths, but to also hide his numerous weaknesses.

Now those weaknesses are Miami's problem - and good riddance.  I don't despise Thigpen as much as I used to (I guess that's a compliment) - but I couldn't be more scared of him coming into a game if he were standing inside my door with an ax.  Good luck, Thigpen - you won't be missed.

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Chiefs wide receiver Dwayne Bowe was suspended for four games by the NFL on Tuesday for violating the league’s policy on performance enhancing substances. Bowe’s agent, Todd France, said his client was guilty only of taking a weight loss supplement. “Dwayne did not take a steroid or any other peformance-enhancing drug,” France said in an e-mail to [...]

It was ugly, there was penalties, there was dropped passes, fumbles and interceptions but the Chiefs find a way to get it done as they defeat the Raiders 16-10 in Oakland. The end result is exactly what the Chiefs were looking for but this game did not start out the way the Chiefs expected, on [...]

The Kansas City Chiefs have a couple things going for them, despite their abysmal win-loss record: Jamaal Charles and an affinity for playing at Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum. In reference to Charles, he is quickly making Chiefs fans think, “Larry WHO?” Meanwhile, the Chiefs have had their fair share of success at the Coliseum as they [...]